JH Wong

I'm now awake never sleep.

I dunno did i do a good or great job. Or a screw up job.
Ppl tell mi dey was touch by wat i did.
SO?
Hmmm..
I hope e earn myself alot of money in my love account.
Everybody have a love account.
E lesser e money e more e person dis like u.
I think my account leave as less as ur really bank account.:(

I'm try my best to be a nice person.
But i dunno
I think i need alot's of self-control.
In everything i do and SAY.

Wait wait wait.
Lord why izzit alway wait?
It's really not fun waiting.
U know how it feel's?
Lord. Why muz i alway learn to wait?
Even since i was in sec sch day's.

Everybody is tell mi e same thing.
Time.
Wait.
Happy.
Dun think too much.
Jesus love mi.

But i was reading this book yesterday at 1 of e cafe.
I juz found out.
I need is self-control.
E feeling may not fate off so fast.
But is how i control myself.

And having to control my rocky life is not easy.
It's like push and pull a spoiled trolle.
It will swing u left right left right.
U wanna go get chip.
But ended up at e pet food.
Not easy to be in control.

Ya.
At least i'm in pain.
I dunno.
It's hurting.
But after all and everything.
I dunno.
I'm lost. Guang hui ge help.
):

Wat have i got to say? :(
Heart's broken.
Seeking a glue tt can stick it back?
How long can i hope on?
How long am i gng to be like this?
I cannot hold on anymore. :(
I'm sick.
I'm tired.
I wanna find a hole and hide in there till everything is over.
But how long can i hide?
Muz it alway be like tt?
Is there no other way?
Why?

Pain is noting.
Pride is everything.
This is wat i hear in camp everyday.
Izzit really true?

I maybe joking around luff around.
But Lord u know mi best.
I'm hurt.
I know applying medi is painful.
Is there other way out?
Or izzit juz mi?
It's a 1 hand clap thing.
Why am i doing this to myself?
Knowing it's not e rite thing to do.
But i will still go do.
It's like playing wif fire or hot water.
:'(

Lord I wanna U turn.
But i'm scare.
I'm so scare i'm hit by e on coming car.
I'm scare.

Hear my cry.
See mi tear.
All i wan is U LOrd.
Heal my broken heart.

Is history repeating itself again?
Or it will?

Haiz.

Vex vex vex vex busy this few week.
Never sleep well.
Everynite awaiting.
Every morning awaiting.
haha..
Izzit wat u wanna teach mi?
To await wat is good for mi?


Wowwww..
This is really vex hard.
But looking at it.
I onli have 1 more year.
Haha..
LCP > CPL > MR WONG.

It's sunday le.

Hmmm..
Yesterday had cell and i saw my right foot have foot rot. :(

Haiz.
I dunno.
E feeling is so aaarggggGG.
I really wanna talk to u.
I wanna be there for u.
I wanna open my mouth to talk to u, but i'm scare u turn away.
I wanna msg, i'm scare u never reply mi.
Maybe i'm juz thinking to much.
Maybe i'm juz dreaming.
Lord wat do u wanna teach mi now? :(
Pain is in my heart.
The feeling is not good.
I dun like it.
How long can i be like this?
I may seems to be happy but who know mi betta.
I'm hurt and in pain deep down.
How long can i hang there.
Lord.
Teach mi wat to do now.
:'(

My life is full of regrets.


All i can now is juz dream dream dream.
Haiz.
We shared in cell on sat and dream and stuff.
Hmmm.
Wen i was praying
Something came into my mind.
I wanna open this house or shop tt's help little kid.
Help dem teach dem new skill in life and dey can go help other's.
Ya.
It's juz a dream.
My dream never been forful before.
Life is alway's down.

Ya.. Ppl are asking where am i e pass 3 week's.
Ya. I got charge. I really wanna thank's GOD i was not send to DB not for this time.
Next time. I mean no more next time le.

I had 7day's SOL.

Haiz..

On 29 may2009 sat nite something happen to mi.
I made a choice tt i really regreted.
I was hard on my word's.
Juz lost my mind at tt time.
Guess word shoot out cannot be taken back.
How i wish i have turn time back.
How i wish thing's could be betta.
Can i hold thing back?
How can i do it betta?
How?
Wat if?
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.....

Pain is noting?
This is wat i hear in camp everyday.
But it's really painful.

I had a screw up week.
2 week's in camp not gng home.
Everynite wanting to call and msg but i was so scare.
:(

And Janet jie lend mi alot of CD to listen tt's how i pass my time during my weekend.
And i was really vex vex vex vex vex busy wif my driving.
I dunno why i was arrowed?

Haiz.

Ya.
Lord be wif mi.
Let thing's be in ur control, not mine.
Dun remove it in my life.
I wan tt vase there.
Lord it's tt mine?
How long have i got to wait?
Waiting is painful
See e vase broken after broken.
Heart is juz like tt vase.
Painful.
Lord i know u wanna teach mi how to grow in ur kingdom.
But this is too painful.
Lord teach mi.
Open my heart.
Open my mind.
Draw mi near to u.
U are a GREATEST healer.
Lord.......................................................................................................
I love u lord.
I wanna worship u.
I wanna rise ur name on high.
AMEN...............



To: Xiao Qi.
I'm sorry for was i had say to u.
I know my word do hurt u.
It's something i really regreted.
You may delete my name from ur phone or remove mi from msn.
But something tt i know myself is.
Juz wanna talk u.
It's not abt e past.
I never pick abt wat happened.
I never complain.
I guess i was juz selfish.
Too selfish.
Knowing it u will not take mi as a friend or talk to mi.
Or even reply my msg.
So i stop msging u.
Dun wan be so fan.
I rather be a coner stone in ur life tt u never notice's mi.
It's pain see and doing this.
But if u are happy wif it.
I have noting to do or say.
Knowing tt u facing more prob's den mi now.
I wanna be there for u.
But i know i dun have e chance's.
So all i will do is juz give u space and be e coner stone in life.
U hang on there.
A promise are not mean to be broken.
I will be there.
I will come back.
After e green light is seen.
I dun wan history to replay it's self
I will be back as a stone not a mud.
Give mi sometime.
Give urself more time too.
I'm sorry.
I never let u down.
I have also forful my promise.
And i will.
You take care.